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Asking for Answers: Should we try a long distance relationship?

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Asking for Answers: Should we try a long distance relationship?

Aurora Byrne, Staff member

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Dear Answers,

I have spent 3 glorious, yet difficult years here at DVC, but now I am about to open a new chapter in my life. I have been accepted to a high profile university back East, and as thrilling as that is, it means leaving my long-time boyfriend behind.  He still has another year here at DVC and even then, who knows where he will end up transferring to. We have always imagined building a life together, but spending years apart will be really hard.  I don’t know if I can handle the heartbreak of ending it, but I also don’t know if it is fair to expect us to be faithful, and withstand the temptations of being 3,000 miles away from each other. Should we stay together or break up?

-On to 4-Year

 

Dear 4-Year,

Your dilemma is one experience of many college students, all over the country, every single year. You fall in love and have a wonderful relationship, but then you get accepted to a great school far away from the person you care about.

The good news is that with today’s technological advancements, couples that are geographically far apart, can still stay emotionally close.

Yet despite the advent of gadgets and video chat, you are right to be trepidatious about embarking on a long-distance relationship.

Long-distance relationships require an immense amount of trust, honesty, and communication. My advice to you is, that if you truly love each other and you’re both willing to give it a go, try it out. However, keep an open mind and recognize that things may change with the two of you being so far apart.

You may decide that it’s just too hard to miss each other all the time, or one of you may indeed meet someone else. For that reason I think it is of the utmost importance that you both commit to being absolutely honest with one another, even if the truth is that a long-distance relationship isn’t making you happy.

Now that we have the doom and gloom out of the way, many people have very satisfying and successful long-distance relationships. One couple I know plans a dinner date each week where they eat together over Skype. You can also share photos and details of your lives with one another, using mobile instant chat apps, Facebook and Instagram. Also try to plan occasional visits as often as you both can afford.

Many couples even find their relationships strengthened by the time they’ve spent apart, as distance can make the heart grow fonder! When you have to make the most of your interactions in the little time that you do get to spend together in person, it forces you to focus on what is really important to you both, and you are likely to really develop your “best self” when it comes to your relationship.

I personally think there is no harm in starting out with the best intentions, but be sure to re-evaluate from time to time, and encourage your significant other to do the same.

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About the Contributors
Aurora Byrne, Staff member

Staff member, spring 2014.

Wesley Ihezue, Correspondent

Correspondent, fall 2014. Staff member, spring 2014.

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Asking for Answers: Should we try a long distance relationship?