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The student news site of Diablo Valley College.

The Inquirer

The student news site of Diablo Valley College.

The Inquirer

Protect Ya Neck Weekly #1

Da Glossary of Chessboxin’ (Part 1)

“Our recent survey says we gained another 2 million players from last year,” said Paul Charchian, Fantasy Sports Trade Association President.  “The numbers keep growing and it’s a pace we’ve been keeping up for years.”
-Paul Charchian (FoxBusiness.com)

Welcome readers, to the very first edition of “Protect Ya Neck Weekly”- a column named in homage to my newest Fantasy Franchise: WuTang Shaolin Killa Bees. If you’re one of those alleged two million newbies, jumping into the World of competitive sports-guessing for the first time, I have begun a Glossary of terms which might be commonplace among the Fantasy Elite, but may sound foreign to an untrained ear. I hope someone finds this helpful.

“Flex”noun– Colloquial term for the RB/WR “Skill Position” slot in your starting lineup. Make sure you know the rules of your league. I’ve seen that spot used for WR/TE combos, WR/RB/TE but it’s always called the “Flex” spot.

“Bust”noun– This refers to a player who was ranked high in preseason, but failed to produce the numbers that they were projected to. (See Also: Chris Johnson, Michael Vick- 2011; Victor Cruz, Dez Bryant- 2012)

“Steal”noun– Refers to a player who was on nobody’s radar, but jumped into a prominent role through unexpected success. If your league is anything like mine, there were no shortage of morons ready to shout this term after every draft pick. (See Also: Jordy Nelson- 2011; Kevin Ogletree- 2012)

“Handcuffing”verb– It’s not just for sadists anymore. Handcuffing refers to the accepted practice among fantasy players that if you’re going to draft a high upside player with injury red flags, you’d better darn well own his backup too. (See also: Frank Gore/Kendall Hunter; Adrian Peterson/Toby Gerhart- 2012)

“Waiver Wire”noun– This is where the underdogs wait for their chance at redemption. Even more important to fantasy success than a great draft, is hawkish monitoring of the waiver wire. Don’t abuse it- chasing down players you don’t recognize in search of high projection numbers, on Wednesdays when players free up, Waiver “Claims” are processed in order. The more “moves” you make on kneejerk instinct, the less likely you will be to be in position for the rags-to-riches Romeos who pop up out of the clear blue sky, almost every week. (See Also: Kevin Ogletree- 2012)

Now, I’ll drop some names from my most competitive league’s waiver wire who you might want to watch on Sunday (Or in some cases, earlier this week). Better believe I will be. Only five this time, no particular order.

Kevin Ogletree (WR- Dal)- I think I’ve covered this. If you’re still confused, watch Sports Center.

Chief’s D/ST- The Chiefs always get overlooked for their Defense, but Tamba Hali and Brandon Flowers are names every Fantasy Owner should know. Dexter McCluster is also an undervalued special teams phenom.

Brandon Weeden (QB- Cle)- Where did Trent Richardson go in your draft? For that rook to have any success at all, this Rookie QB needs to spread the field, otherwise… Browns. I like his chances to bring things together this season.

Laurent Robinson (WR- Jax)- One of the many new toys for second-year man Blaine Gabbert. Between Robinson and Blackmon, I’ve seen more from Robinson to suggest NFL success.

David Nelson (WR- Buf)- Fitzpatrick is habitually underrated, and with Stevie Johnson on Revis Island, facing double coverage looks- I’ll be interested to see what he does against the Jets Defense, which I suspect to be underrated this year as well.

Just to reiterate, I’m not saying any of you readers should drop players from your roster to add these players, in fact I’m specifically saying NOT to, not yet at least. The most important aspect of working the Wire is timing.

Email me with questions, comments, angry disagreements. I’ll try to do better next week.
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About the Contributor
Josh "Grassy" Knoll, Editor in Chief
Editor in chief, spring 2013. Arts & Features editor, fall 2012.

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Protect Ya Neck Weekly #1