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The Inquirer

The student news site of Diablo Valley College.

The Inquirer

The student news site of Diablo Valley College.

The Inquirer

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

Scott Baba (The Inquirer)

You may have seen the billboards scattered across the bay area, or the pamphlets being handed out on street corners across the nation, but apparently the end of the world is coming, and it’s coming up fast.

For many, this may come as something of a surprise, but Harold Camping, president and co-founder of Family Radio, is adamantly convinced that the world will end on May 21st, 2011. And he’s on the radio.

Specifically, Camping claims that on May 21 the rapture will occur – when God’s chosen are whisked away to heaven – followed by a world-wide civilization-shattering earthquake, and five months of hell on earth for God’s least favorite demographics to enjoy until he finally scrubs the whole universe clean at the end of October.

Many have argued out that Camping’s numbers are weirdly and nonsensically specific, but Camping insists that he’s done the math.

He points out that in Genesis, God gives Noah seven days to get his belongings in order before the world would be destroyed, and that in Peter it is said that a thousand years with God is as a day, and vice versa.

So by jamming these two passages together, Camping concludes that 7,000 years after God talked to Noah, the world will end. Which, also according to Camping’s math, will be 7,000 years ago this Saturday.

I for one am convinced; that sounds entirely reasonable.

I mean, let’s keep this in perspective. When May 21 rolls around, those who aren’t prepared for it will be caught with their pants down, going to heaven or not, as dictated by God’s ineffable and uncontrollable will. On the other hand, those of us who believe in the rapture will be ready, having already quit our jobs, convinced all of our loved ones that we are insane, and through mercy euthanized our pets.

Yes, in our obsession with preparing for the end, many of us will have derailed our lives to follow a fanatical religious doctrine and set ourselves up for the kind of spiritual letdown that has, in the past, preceded unfathomable acts of terror and desperation, but since the world is ending on the 21st, there won’t be any consequences or repercussions to bite us in the ass. So that’s alright.

And what are the chances that Saturday isn’t the second coming of Christ and we’ve all ruined our lives for nothing?

Answer: pretty slim. Sure, the end of the world has already been predicted a few dozen times, once by Camping himself, but to cite that as evidence that this weekend isn’t the end of times would be to ignore the little boy crying “wolf.” When there is a wolf. A wolf whose existence has been proven with math and gossip. But mostly gossip.

So this weekend, grab a cold drink and a comfy chair, because it promises to be a hell of a show. Best seat in the house: everywhere.


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About the Contributor
Scott Baba
Scott Baba, Opinion editor
Opinion editor, spring 2011. Staff member, spring and fall 2010.

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It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine