The rise of sex, the decline of intimacy

Shane Louis, Co-editor-in-chief

We don’t think enough of sex, which is not to say we don’t think enough about sex. Think about that phrase for a while.

This is the problem when sex goes from a special, intimate activity to just another tool used to sell products.

The increasing separation between sex and intimacy devalues our relationships and society.

“Fifty Shades of Grey” has reached the general public like it’s just another movie, but it’s not: it’s some sort of acceptable form of porn, and it’s trying to convince us that sex is OK anytime, any place, with anyone.

This sounds “liberating,” but it’s only liberating in the sense of a balloon that has been released by it’s owner, floating freely up into the sky until it finally explodes. Have as much sex as you want, but the eventual payoff will be a lack of real relationships.

First, the story emphasizes the sexuality of Anastasia and Christian’s relationship, not the intimacy.

Second, Christian Grey just seems like a selfish, manipulative stalker. He shows up everywhere Ana is and buys her expensive gifts. Some ladies may think this is sweet and cute, but it’s not; it’s just creepy.

The perceived “romancing” is only to convince her that she needs to experience all of Christian’s playroom antics.

This sounds like a deceptive story covered in pornographic nuances.

This is no surprise because, over the last few decades, pornography has become prevalent in our culture, and it’s hurting us.

A study published by the University of New Hampshire in 2008 showed that 93% of boys and 62% of girls were exposed to porn before the age of 18. Imagine how much that percentage has probably increased with the expansion of the internet and the growth of computer savvy teenagers.

There is science behind pornography. It’s the science of addiction.

The chemicals released by the brain during sex are the same ones whether it is with another person or with a computer screen, so instead of connecting the good feelings that normally bond us with another human being, our brain creates connectedness with porn.

These chemicals are the same as those produced from using addictive drugs.

Intimacy is gone; sex is the scorecard guys keep, the experience girls gossip about and the sales pitch that sells.

How do we fight against what our compulsions tell us to do?

To quote a Bob Newhart sketch: “Just stop it!”

Unfortunately, the addictive nature of porn makes it hard to break the habit.

An organization called Fight the New Drug acts to provide information on the dangers of porn and helps to create a community of people who stand up against it.

Don’t let sex sell you. Invest in real relationships, and real satisfaction will come.