News with Nihilism

Marcel Scott, Opinion Editor

News sucks.

Every week, top-stories sound the same—the writer or report’s name being the only thing that differs.  

Mass shootings, terrorism, ISIS, Trump, Carson, Gun Control, Police brutality, Climate Change: All are topics that dominate the headlines.

It’s becoming predicable.

Here’s next week’s news for you: Trump says something racist, Carson says something stupid, ISIS are dicks, Gun Control argument, tragic mass shooting, Climate Change is causing polar bear’s to lose their penile bones…seriously, that’s a thing…look into it.

I don’t know if I just made a prediction, or if that’s just the mundane order of top news articles—caught in a riptide of perpetual repetitiveness.

Even this article is stupid…it’s, like, totally been done before.

I’m also cashed, just like the news. I’m sick of repeating myself, I’m sick of the news repeating itself.

I feel like there’s no point in saying my stance on gun control, even though that’s front page news right now, because I’ve already talked about my stance on gun control.

Trump isn’t worth even a fraction of time, and the same goes for Carson.

Police brutality is maybe worth a thought, but what’s the point when I can’t solve anything? What am I going to add that hasn’t already been said a million times.

I’ve already spilled my two cents on mass shootings, but look what good that did.

Essentially, what I’m saying is, I’m useless talking about these topics. I can’t add anything that hasn’t already been said a million times—neither can CNN, Newsweek, Fox, MSNBC, Vice, The New Yorker, NPR, PBS, BBC, Al Jazeera, The New York Times, etc. It’s all becoming the same thing anyways.

As the Opinion Editor, I feel an obligation to discuss these topics. They’re important issues. But the real news is that nothing is being done to solve any of these issues. So, if nothing gets done, then what’s the point of protesting against them anymore.

My voice is already out there.

And now, at this point of my article, I’m supposed to give you some solution, some thought or idea, to resonate with you, to help you feel a little better about a subject. But guess what? I got nothing for you.

I’ll leave you, until I come back in the spring, with a few words on topics that I could’ve written on.

Mass Shootings: Damn-it.

Terrorism: Really?

ISIS: Stop dude.

Trump: Nice hair, bad teeth.

Carson: You make no sense.

Gun Control: Nationwide isn’t on your side.

Police brutality: Stop abusing power.

Climate change: Shit’s happening.